Being the child of a parent with depression comes with some particular challenges. One such challenge is the difficulty separating socialized behavior from innate personality traits, particularly…
Just a few months ago, I have received my final University results . I was sitting alone, contemplating the ruins at Machu Picchu, and reflecting on my trip so far. Once my phoned beeped and I read the email confirming my award, a film highlighting my years at UCL scrolled through the standing walls of the World Wonder. The ups and the downs. The day I first moved in, the night I last moved out, and everything in between.
Out of all the lessons I have learned through my journey in London, there is one that I would like to share:
Halfway through my degree, I realized that this was not what I wanted to do in life. As a computer science student, I had interned -naturally- in two tech companies. And the conclusion was that programming all day was not at all my thing; I need people, I need to solve human problems. I vividly remember that one night when I cried to one of my friends on skype, thinking that I’m riding the wrong train in life, and that there are no stops before the final destination. Trying to console me, he reminded me that technology is ubiquitous, and that I could still choose any career I fancy. A second wave of tears ran down my cheeks, while my thoughts went in all directions looking for any field I love.
Shall I develop my creativity and become an urban designer? Shall I study politics and economics, aiming to solve the problems of the people? Shall I follow the trend and start my own business? Or shall I just dive in literature as my parents have done? The answer was: I have no clue what to do!
Last September, I started my first job as an M&A consultant at PwC in London. I started to admire companies, their marriages and divorces, with all the hassle that comes with that. The babies (employees), accommodation (offices and plants), furniture (all other assets), and paperwork!
Now this past year has not all been sunshine and rainbows. There were some very rainy and gloomy days. I’m eternally grateful to my wonderful family, who always pushes me forward whenever I slow down. A huge thank you goes to my parents, who surrounded me with an overflow of resources, and who provided with everything I need to grow.
But being away from family is not easy, especially when you live in a city where so many people you get attached to just leave! The closest I have been to two of my bestfriends this year was 3,930 kms, yet, they managed to be there at every low and every high. I am fortunate to be surrounded by many genuine people, whose warmth and love radiate all over. In fact, this past year has made think deeply about the meaning of friendships — and their importance. “And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit” said Gibran Kahlil Gibran.
Writing this last paragraph, I’m laying on a persian carpet at my childhood home, in the very same room where I learned how to read, where I celebrated many birthdays, where I hid with my family during wartime and where I studied for my GCSEs and Baccalaureate. It’s always relaxing to go back to where it all started, to press that temporary reset button, and to remember that nothing matters in life more than a kiss from my grandma. Never look back and keep moving forward, they say. I don’t see how one can happen without the other. I will never stop looking back.
I had a conversation with myself a few days back, and came to the realization of those four words. Now, for something I don’t really believe, it would irk me to even think the thought, but this…