Independence

Some people find independence scary. They shrivel at the idea of being alone. It makes them feel they have no one to lean on, no one to aid them, no one to cry to, no one to vent to and no one to be there. For some it’s their worst nightmare.

I’m a little bit different.

Since I was a child I craved independence. I never felt comfortable around my family, and couldn’t sit down and enjoy a chat with my mom or dad like others. The same can be said for my relationship with my brother, and in a chaotic household with a single parent in a crammed apartment, isolation was almost impossible.

I just moved into the condo I spent most of my teenage years living in. Much different arrangement for a very different individual. Looking at the den I once called a room it’s incredible I managed almost 5 years in glorified closet.

That’s probably why I crave independence so bad, if you deprive an individual of a fundamental desire, the hunger doesn’t go away. Instead it percolates and grows larger and larger. That’s what I think happened to me, and why I enjoy simply being alone.

Social situations always feel like pressure. I never felt a strong sense of belonging growing up as I was kind of weird, and because of that I had to refine my actions around others to avoid criticism. Plus I’m not very assertive, and find it hard to stand up for myself at times if I’m getting picked on.

Independence removes the pressure of unwanted social interaction, and brings a sense of inner calm.

Independence is the most empowering thing I can think of, and makes me feel great.

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